Trust issues can often seem like they're about other people, but the deepest trust challenges usually start closer to home — with how you feel about yourself. You might second-guess your judgment, question your capacity for love, or doubt whether anyone could ever truly be there for you. These struggles reflect an internal battle, but here's the good news: they also point to where your healing journey begins — with you.

In this blog, we’ll explore three powerful, practical steps to help you rebuild trust, regain your sense of self, and create the healthy relationships you long for.

1. Rewriting Your Story: From Victim to Survivor

One of the most insidious effects of abuse and betrayal is how they reshape your self-perception. You might start to see yourself as broken, damaged, or incapable of having healthy relationships. These beliefs can feel overwhelming, but they aren’t the full story.

What if, instead of seeing yourself as a victim, you could reframe your experiences as proof of your resilience and strength? Surviving betrayal or abuse is no small feat. The fact that you're here, reading this, means there's a part of you ready to embrace love and trust again.

Start by recognizing the strengths you’ve developed through adversity. Maybe it’s determination, courage, or an unwavering desire to give yourself the love and care you deserve. Even if you don’t feel strong now, the very act of seeking support reflects a deep care for yourself. Let that acknowledgment sink in: you do care about yourself, and that’s a powerful foundation to build on.

As you rewrite your story, also consider the people who showed you kindness, even in small ways. Shifting your focus from those who hurt you to those who supported you can remind you that warmth, care, and understanding still exist in the world. Recognizing these moments doesn’t diminish your pain; it broadens your perspective and strengthens your ability to trust.

2. Embracing Uncertainty: The Heart of Trust

Trust isn’t about certainty or guarantees. It’s not about being 100% sure that no one will ever hurt you again. In fact, seeking certainty — through hypervigilance, control, or avoidance — often backfires, creating conflict and mistrust.

Dr. Rachel Botsman describes trust as "a confident relationship with the unknown." This doesn’t mean ignoring red flags or excusing bad behavior. Instead, it’s about approaching relationships with openness and courage.

Building trust requires vulnerability, but it’s a gradual process. Start small: share something mildly vulnerable with someone you’re getting to know and observe how they respond. Over time, you might share more about your past, including your struggles with trust. Let them know what you need to feel secure, whether it’s patience, reassurance, or understanding.

If they respond with kindness and respect, your trust in them — and in yourself — will grow. But if they dismiss your feelings or act defensively, take that as a sign. Trusting yourself to recognize when someone isn’t safe or supportive is just as important as trusting others.

Embracing uncertainty means trusting your ability to navigate the unknown, to protect yourself when needed, and to let relationships unfold naturally. It’s about releasing the need for control and allowing trust to develop over time.

3. Building a Community of Trust

If you’ve been hurt or betrayed, it’s natural to think trust is a rare commodity. You might find yourself searching for "the one" person who can make you feel safe. But placing all your trust in one person can make you vulnerable to further harm.

Instead, focus on building a community of trust. Trust doesn’t have to mean the same thing in every relationship. You might have a friend who listens without judgment, a mentor who gives excellent advice, or a neighbor who can take care of your pets. Trust exists in many forms, and cultivating it across multiple relationships can help you see others — and yourself — in a more balanced way.

By nurturing diverse sources of support, you’ll start to feel less isolated and more connected. These connections can heal the wounds of past trauma and help you rewrite your story about relationships. Rather than seeing people as inherently untrustworthy, you’ll begin to see them as capable of offering care, kindness, and love in different ways.

Trusting Yourself: The Key to Healing

Rebuilding trust is a journey with ups and downs. There will be moments of doubt, but those moments are part of the process. The most important thing is to trust yourself — your ability to recognize red flags, to protect your boundaries, and to nurture relationships that align with your needs.

Trust isn’t about certainty; it’s about confidence in your ability to navigate the unknown. By rewriting your story, embracing uncertainty, and building a community of trust, you can create healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

If you’d like to explore more strategies for building trust in yourself, check out this video on YouTube. Remember, every small step you take today brings you closer to the life and relationships you deserve.