Make Love of Yourself Perfect
Feb 17, 2023
The full quotation from Nisargadatta Maharaj is:
You are perfect, only you don’t know it.
Learn to know yourself and you will discover wonders.
All you need is already within you, only you must approach yourself with reverence and love.
Self-condemnation and self-distrust are grievous errors.
Your constant flight from pain and search for pleasure is a sign of the love you bear for yourself;
all I plead with you is this: make love of yourself perfect.
In working with people struggling with their own narcissism or those who have survived difficult, hurtful or abusive relationships with "narcissists", nurturing genuine self-love is vital. Sometimes, we engage in behaviours that are harmful to us or to people around us such as withdrawing from relationships, using substances, defensive outbursts, people-pleasing, self-neglect, self-sacrifice or even harsh self criticism. Even these are ways we attempt to care for ourselves, protect ourselves or keep ourselves safe. Without denying the harm these patterns may cause, recognising that they are imperfect ways we try to care for ourselves can help nurture an attitude of compassion, grace and forgiveness for ourselves. It can also help us foster the dedication needed to nurture kinder, stronger, more compassionate patterns in our relationships with ourselves and those close to us.
We need to learn to love ourselves more perfectly, from a place of wisdom. Beating ourselves up and berating ourselves for the more difficult parts of our personalities prevents us from loving ourselves and prevents us from being able to meet our needs and create the changes we might desperately want. We need to learn to approach ourselves with compassion and gentle strength. We can accept our mistakes, learn to correct ourselves, and become stronger and kinder, good inner parents. We can reparent ourselves with love, patience and self-compassion, not with judgement or criticism.
#makeloveofyourselfperfect #selfcompassion #schematherapy #drruthann
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