How to support a loved one in an abusive relationship
Mar 01, 2023It can be heartbreaking to witness a loved one going through this, and often there is a drive to advise them to get out of the relationship or to leave. If they have ended such a relationship, the urge may be to tell them what a horrible partner their ex was and how much better off they are without them.
While such advice can be well intended and not entirely unhelpful at times, it can inadvertently result in the person not finding their own voice, not being able to tell their own story or to explore the complexities and contradictions in their relationships. It can leave them feeling stupid or defective for being in an abusive relationship and further erode their self-esteem and capacity to be strong and wise for themselves. When someone is still in an abusive relationship, advice to leave can even be experienced as pressure and disappointing the people and drive a further and dangerous wedge between the person and those who most care about them.
Holding a compassionate space where someone can say anything on their mind, and express any emotions they feel is a precious gift that can offer someone the chance to find their own voice, tell their own story and become the wise and compassionate hero in their own story.
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