From relational war to relational peace
Feb 27, 2023
You may build up armour to survive when you have been through painful, abusive or consistently neglectful relationships. Perhaps you have learned to shut down and shut off. Maybe you have learned to placate, go quiet and not express your own wishes or needs for fear of rocking the boat. Or perhaps you have become angry and defensive as a way to keep yourself safe. Maybe you seek admiration and validation rather than allowing people to love and care for all of you, including your more human vulnerabilities and flaws.
Such survival mechanisms may be essential to get through harrowing times. When soldiers return from war, they no longer need their weapons and may need to put them down to tend to their injuries, to embrace and to be embraced by people who genuinely love and care for them. Sometimes a vital step in healing is to put down the protective armour and trust that you can nurture a wise and compassionate version of yourself who can protect and care for you as you open your heart to yourself and those who love you. It can feel vulnerable and frightening to let our inner soldier know it's ok to put down their weapons and rest.
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