The arts, in the form of music, literature and poetry, are often gentle companions with us as we navigate challenging relationships. These lyrics are from a song called "My House" by Tim Minchin from "Matilda, The Musical".

Spoiler alert! If you aren't familiar with the story of Matilda, you may want to look away now.

The song is sung by Matilda's teacher, Miss Honey. Miss Honey lost both her parents and her aunt, Miss Trunchbull, the villain of the story, became her viciously abusive guardian. Miss Trunchbull lives in Miss Honey's house and enjoys the inheritance that should be her's. As an adult, Miss Honey escapes to a small outhouse without running water or electricity. She sits on boxes. It is sparse and impoverished, but it is her house, her space and her new beginning after abuse.

Miss Honey's story is relatable to anyone who has been through an abusive relationship. You might have lost a lot. There may be great loss and injustice, but in all of us there might be a small, stubborn flame that pushes us through. In the musical, as Miss Honey sings this song, Matilda (who I like to think of as representing her inner enraged and abandoned child) chips in, pointing out how unfair the situation is. Miss Honey embraces her but focuses on her own inner strength and resources, not on the unfairness of her circumstances. Her dead father (a loving and secure figure for Miss Honey) appears in the scene, apologising and gently supporting her. Miss Honey wraps her father's scarf around Matilda and solidifies her role as a nurturing, healthy adult in Matilda's life. What is your house? What small, stubborn flame keeps you going? Are there strong, secure relationships that you can draw on? What does your inner, abandoned and enraged child need?

#recoveryafterabuse #selfcompassion #schematherapy #schematherapyforabusesurvivors #Matilda #MatildatheMusical #TimMinchin #MyHouse #innerchild #healthyadult