None of us are simple, perfect creatures of light. We all have tricky parts of our personalities and patterns of behaviour that do not serve us. Many of us would prefer to push down, deny and ignore our shadow side. If we cannot dispose of it easily, we might like to condemn it with criticism and demand to do better. Perhaps we condemn our bad temper, our rage, our sexual desires, our envy, our grandiosity, our people-pleasing, our quietness or our inability to assert ourselves.

At the heart of self-criticism lies a deep need for self-improvement. It can feel like the only way to become more successful and find acceptance. Such condemnation, according to Carl Jung, does not liberate us. It oppresses.

Accepting our shadow side without judgement, looking at it with loving curiosity, and bringing an attitude of forgiveness and accountability is the key to change. Acceptance enables us to understand our shadow, how it evolved and what it is trying to do. This can bring clarity along with self-compassion that can open up the possibility of change in the service of our own best interests, rather than to placate a demanding and condemning inner critic.

Through self-acceptance, forgiveness and compassion, you can find freedom to love yourself, care for yourself, hold yourself accountable and create a space were growth and change are possible.

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