Being hospitable to all our emotions
Jan 22, 2023
This beautiful and well-known poem by Rumi is a beautiful reminder that our feelings, even our most difficult ones, need care and attention. We often want to shy away from unpleasant, uncomfortable or dark thoughts and emotions. Rumi famously wrote that we should greet all our emotions "at the door, laughing"– though a more accurate translation might actually be "with softness".
Engaging with our darkness with openness and tenderness instead of fear and judgment opens up real possibilities to heal, restore and strengthen our relationships with ourselves and others.
It might mean accepting the pain and heartache of leaving a hurtful relationship and the anxiety of starting a new life. Or perhaps, we need to embrace the guilt and regret of how we have contributed to the suffering of someone we care about. For those who have experienced persistently abusive and neglectful relationships, it can be equally overwhelming to open up to unfamiliar experiences of joy, contentment and pleasure. Or perhaps we notice feelings of envy and malice or thoughts of our superiority that feel either shameful or intoxicating.
Meeting our feelings with softness is one of the most loving things we can do for ourselves. Instead of trying to push away feelings or allow them to take over entirely, we can sit with them with kind curiosity, pausing and asking ourselves, “What is this emotion really trying to tell me?”
As wise, compassionate adults we can honour our feelings, who we are, and where we have been and choose to act in ways that alleviate suffering for ourselves and those closest to us. Painful feelings can be a gateway to the delights of new experiences and stronger, wiser, kinder relationships with ourselves and those closest to us.
This is equally true for people struggling with their own narcissism and those who have been in profoundly hurtful or abusive relationships with narcissistic people.
#healnpd #selflove #selfacceptance #recoveryafterabuse #selfcompassion #fierceselfcompassion #healthyboundaries #makingpeace #narcissismhealing #unhealthyrelationships #understandingnarcissism #npd #narcissism
#emotionalabuse #abusiverelationship
SUBSCRIBE FOR NEWS & UPDATES
Enter your name and email address below to receive regular news and updates and free resources.
We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.
